“小荷才露尖尖角”－－女儿获奖小记（6）

上个月底，为庆祝墨尔本被联合国教科文组织命名为“世界文学之城”，维州政府和《太阳先驱报 Herald Sun》在维州3～10年级学生中举办一次题为“我的墨尔本 My Melbourne”的作文比赛，形式不拘，可以是诗歌，散文等，字数在300字以内。

女儿跃跃欲试，并写出了一首短诗，其中一些词语就来自她平常阅读积累起来的Writer's Notebook。也许是她这个年龄可能进入喜欢堆砌华丽词藻的阶段了吧，我一向主张文字应尽量平实质朴，但对于一名小学五年级学生的习作来说，在我读到 这首短诗之后的第一反应是立即打开电脑谷歌一下，看看会不会是从哪里抄袭或模仿来的，呵呵。。。但经查证，的的确确是出自她的手笔，在这里和大家分享一 下。

从整篇的立意和行文中，我突然想到中国古时一句诗词：“小荷才露尖尖角”；愿我们这些为人父母的海外游子的下一代在澳洲这片热土上都能健康茁壮地成长。。。

FINGERS CROSSED！

My Melbourne by 女儿 Year 5

Streets teeming with clusters of individuals
The usual scurrying of feet is flooded
With the perpetual roaring of countless vehicles
This is life in a city like no other

Primeval, isolated landscapes modified and bartered
For skyscraper cities towering above humble pathways
Forget typewriters, textbooks and blackboards, it’s all technology
Everyday appears to be a miraculous new discovery

Dawn reveals the sun’s outstretched beams
Which tear through the sombre blanket of nightfall
Conversation gradually oozes in like blood from a wound
Work colleagues feverishly exchange the latest gossip

At late twilight a canvas of stars spreads over the city
That’s when the symptoms of poverty kick in, but not many
The homeless fishing chicken bones out of garbage bins
Their desperate conditions lurking in the alleyways

Apart from that there lingers a far more lively culture
Lights flashing onto less occupied avenues
Night clubs packed to the rafters maintaining its reputation
Of being the renowned location for excitement

The convenience of transport in this city will amaze you
Tram bells tinkling, buses inching block by block
Fatigued, sluggish trains rattle tardily along
Envying contemporary ones gliding arrogantly onward

I feel safe, fulfilled, exceedingly more than satisfied
I don’t ever want to leave this thoughtful capital
I like how everything’s not perfect, but then again, neither am I
This is

My Melbourne
12月2日墨尔本出版的《Herald Sun》刊登了这次作文比赛的结果。头奖被Canterbury Primary School一名10岁的华裔女童Sharon Du夺得。

小学五年级的入围学生共有三名，女儿凭借上面这首诗入围shortlist，作为家长，我已经很满意了。

当晚我拿着报纸上获头奖的作品和女儿研究了半天，互相比较和头奖相比到底自己的不足在哪里，长处又在什么地方。

她说，是因为头奖作品的idea比较好。是啊，我对她说，同样是诗歌，获奖作品采取写信和诗歌结合的方式，直接与拟人化的“Dear Melbourne”对话，凸显了作者的童真稚气，又涵盖了墨尔本作为一座魅力之城的基本要素，尤其是结尾，生动有趣而又点题，读来令人感到非常亲切。

在修辞词藻方面显然女儿要略胜一筹，但是我一直也说过，华丽辞藻只是文章的一部分而不能喧宾夺主，文章或诗歌的灵魂还在于构思和立意精巧 啊！女儿听了直点头，相信她在以后的写作之路上，“文字更娴熟，立意会更高远，”并追求“质朴扎实的意境”。。。但愿如此啊。

虽然最终没能夺魁，多少有些失落，但她昨天也带来另一个好消息：经过几轮的interview“过关斩将”，女儿终于脱颖而出，成功被选为学校的School Captain，从下学期Year 6开始担任直到小学毕业。

下面是Canterbury Primary School四年级小学生、10岁华裔女童Sharon Du的获奖诗歌：

School Captain是由全校学生选举、老师校长审议出来代表该校的学生，一般从该校高年级学生中选出，也就说，如果在中学通常就是Year 12，小学就是Year 6的学生。这是一个学校对内对外的代表。因此，一般是在该校中无论是学业成绩、学校活动工作经验等方面都比较突出的学生才能当选，对于获选学生来说是一项 很高的荣誉。

有点类似我们小时候的少先队大队长吧。。。

School Captain is a student elected, or appointed, to represent the school.

This student, usually in the senior year, ("Year 12," in secondary and "Year 6" in primary schools) in their final year of attending that school. It is similar to "Student Body President" in the United States, it is the senior representative of a school's pupils, and the school, in the community.

School captains are mainly found in British Empire legacy school systems, like the Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, India, etc.

To be elected as school captain is a high honour, and the school captain can act as a liaison between the students at large and the faculty staff, and between the school and the community. They are usually a student that has achieved a higher degree of commitment, dedication, experience, and knowledge above that of the average student.

相关链接：

“小荷才露尖尖角”－－女儿获奖小记（1）

“小荷才露尖尖角”－－女儿获奖小记（2）

“小荷才露尖尖角”－－女儿获奖小记（3）

“小荷才露尖尖角”－－女儿获奖小记（4）

“小荷才露尖尖角”－－女儿获奖小记（5）

“小荷才露尖尖角”－－女儿获奖小记（6）

“小荷才露尖尖角”—— 女儿获著名私校奖学金